Apr 302011
 

Ever wondered why you (erm… almost) quit the last time?

It’s actually NOT you…, being a bad player.

It’s the Law of Murphy crawling in your account. So let’s begin explaining.

KQs First.

  • Barely managed to enter the KQ.
  • … but you forgot to restone and you are short on potions.
  • … and you have to die 3 times and restone/repot.
  • You wait  alone for  the next KQ.
  • You wait 30 minute.
  • Alone.
  • Not a single person on the whole map.
  • Of course It fails to begin.
  • Alone

  • Your guildmate entered the first KQ and exited with Victory and blue item.
  • You manage to enter the KQ but there are NOT enough people to finish the boss.
  • You are the only tank and there are no clerics.
  • … or there are clerics, but they fight and die instead of healing.
  • They die exactly 3 times before the boss fight and quit the KQ.
  • … or they refuse to heal and call you n00b.
  • … or they don’t speak English.
  • … and the few words they know are STFU, GTFO and all variations of n00b.
  • … and they adore annoying you.
  • The only cleric knowing what’s expected of him is AFK, because his mom is calling him for dinner.
  • … he arrives in the end, but enters different party.
  • … and/or refuses to heal and revive you.
  • There are only clerics in the KQ.
  • … including yourself.
  • There are only mages in the KQ.
  • … and you are one single lousy fighter or ranger.
  • Everything is alright and none of the above is true but:
  • … noone is inviting you to party.
  • … and/or you DC.
  • You never manage to make the last blow when you need boss-kill quest.
  • … neither anyone in your party.
  • … and all of you actually needed this.
  • … and no one shouted “Let our party make the kill”.
  • … or no one listened.
  • … or someone from other party said “Ooops, sorry”.
  • You level Up, before being able to enter the KQ again to kill the boss.

PVP KQs are even better.

  • Morning PVP KQ is having 4-th and 5-th person entering in the last 1 minute before start.
  • … or it is just You. Alone. And everyone in your guild sleeps.
  • … or is not high enough to enter.
  • The PVP roster says you are first. But in the end you are third.
  • Everyone wants to AFK the PVP when you want to duel.
  • Everyone is AFK when you have bad connection and frequent DCs.
  • If you want to AFK to grab some cheap XP, you DC 100% of the time.
  • … or the PvP bugs and leaves you without XP.
  • … or the PvP bugs and DCs everyone.
  • When you manage to get your connection back, the PVP is over
  • … or you are taken to Elderine/Uruga before it’s over.
  • … or you are locked out alone in the PvP room.
  • … and the GMs are still sleeping.
  • You are the first to die when you are buffed to the teeth, because that guild you hate too much is team-mobbing you.
  • … or It’s your own wife/husband, backstabbing you with 2-3 critts. (Hi hun, missed me?)
  • You managed to get the hammer half second before 3 rangers gang-bang-power-shot you.
  • You managed to get the hammer but You forgot to use speed scroll.
  • Everyone else is having Speed Scroll III.

Party? What’s that?

  • No one is around when you need party.
  • The only ppl willing to party you are low level XP leachers.
  • (They even offer money. 10 silver :D)
  • The most profitable party quests and dungeons are hardest to find party for.
  • You have good party, but all paladins are … in Narnia.
  • In a rough fight, your healer always falls first.
  • … and you following him of course.
  • … or you all died, but he hasn’t put a single Skill point in Revive cast time.
  • … and you are all 5 maps away from city.
  • … and no one is married to anyone, so he/she can use Summon.
  • … and there is a level 105 priest from warring guild gloating around you.
  • … not willing to help of course.
  • Everyone in your party needs his bladder size checked by a physician.
  • … or buy a catheter and link it to the WC.
  • … or learn not to write “AFK”, when she actually plans to read a chapter from Narnia in the WC.
  • When you get something good, everyone wants it.
  • … for his alt.
  • … or for his friend he promised to.
  • Every time there is a good drop for your own class, you either don’t need it, have better or outleveled it long ago.
  • … and can’t fetch a good price.
  • All the good drops are not for your class.
  • … and/or your alt is still to low.
  • … and/or someone else wants it.
  • Every time you almost found all your quest drops/kills, you get ditched by  your party.
  • … because everyone else’s already found them.
  • … or because there is TV show starting somewhere.
  • … or because it’s dinner time in that part of the world.

Soloing. For whoever has the nerves.

Alone

  • The map is never empty.
  • If it was empty five minutes later it’s not.
  • … there is high level ranger with full party of newbies for Power leveling.
  • … I really mean FULL party.
  • Suddenly, they need the same quest drops.
  • … or just pretend to.
  • You are stalked by a newbie player with party invitations and begging.
  • … when you finally accept, just to make him stop he enters his mushroom and goes AFK.
  • … or even asks you to level him a bit while he eats breakfast.
  • … and he has NOT the same quests, so you can have his drops too.
  • You are stalked by a KS idiot who claims it’s “his map”.
  • You are stalked by some “Certified yellow bar clicking expert” who gathers all herbs and ores before you.
  • … and loves to gloat.
  • You die.
  • … you shout “Please revive @ B4, 2 minutes”
  • … and there is no cleric in the same map.
  • … or she is level 19 and does not have revive.
  • … or arrives too late.
  • … or asks for 100 silver.
  • You are really PISSED TO DEATH but all of the above are members of Exhibition guilds.
  • … or you are not Admin.
  • … or your guild master is away/offline/in Narnia/wherever.
  • … and suddenly a GM pops of nowhere and says you should calm down or he will ban you for 1 day.

Trade. Or midday’s robbery.

Empty handed

  • Your spot is always taken by some spam bot or a newbie selling tier 1 potions.
  • You have a full inventory and no one is buying your stuff.
  • You entered one less zero on an item evaluated to 900 silver.
  • You sold an item evaluated at 9 gold for a merely 9 copper, because you did not click the right box.
  • You sold your own +9 weapon because you equipped some cheap level 10 to show off.
  • … To a NPC.
  • Your overpriced scrolls are never in demand.
  • When they are in demand, you actually under priced them already
  • … and someone bought all 5 stacks.
  • … for coppers.
  • Some idiot is selling the same as you on half price.
  • … beside your mushroom
  • … and is actually named his shop “Cheaper than him”
  • Your guild master started a Guildwar while you were in shop.
  • … and of course you were killed.
  • … and again.
  • … and again.
  • … and few more times in the respawn area.
  • … And the GMs were not around.

Game masters. The.

  • When you really need them, they are … in Narnia.
  • When you are killed in your shop, they are … in Narnia.
  • When you are killed in respawn area, they are … in Narnia.
  • When there are scammers in marketplace, they are … in Narnia.
  • When there are gold selling spam bots in the market, they are … in Narnia.
  • When you are in need to kill the Mini Dragon, all 3 of the GMs entered the KQ too.
  • …, to check what’s buggy with the rewards.
  • … and of course refuse to fight the MD or buff anyone.
  • When you are unfair in Guildwar, they are … badger chewing your ancle.
  • When you have killed someone in shop, they are … badger chewing your ancle.
  • When someone provoke you, they are … badger chewing your ancle.
  • When you accidentally kill someone in respawn area, they are … badger chewing your ancle.
 Posted by at 1:43 pm
Apr 292011
 
Cold beer

A mug on the way, TGIF

Or as I shout every time “THANKS GOD IT’S FRIDAY

Friday is the day.

Friday is always there for you.

There are above 16 millions of hits in Google that will show you what TGIF is about. It actually beats the image results for “cold beer”.

But I want to give my 2 cents also 😀 I have alarm on my desktop saying it’s Friday after all. And one of my colleagues is having a windows widget that’s making burping and farting sounds when pointed with the mouse and showing beers every Friday. We love this day.

So. What can be done to celebrate It?

    • Ask your boss to let you go early.
    • Ask your girlfriend/boyfriend to not wait for dinner.
    • Ask your girlfriend/boyfriend to take you to dinner.
    • Invite all your friend in FaceBook to a virtual party early in the morning.
    • Count the likes 😉
    • Really invite them to a party the same evening.
    • Search for sad people at work and cheer them with “It’s Friday”.
    • Reply to your boss’ while he is giving you a new task with “It’s Friday”.
    • Make a puppy face and smile.
    • Spread the word TGIF around.
    • Have a good look at the calendar!
    • Have you noticed, that after Tuesday, even your calendar says “W. T. F.”?
    • Spread this word too.
TGIF

TGIF!

  • Drink few beers with your lunch.
  • Ignore your boss sniffing you with puzzled expression.
  • Lie to him it was only one and It was your most hated colleague forcing you to drink it.
  • Put a picture of him and your boss in Tweeter with  a playful caption below.
  • Count the Tweets 😉
  • Put TGIF as your signature and/or status message everywhere.
  • Create a frame on your site with the JS below 😉 (or just paste in .html file and link it on your page)
  • Don’t forget to send me any ideas I missed. And TGIF!

 Posted by at 10:38 am
Apr 282011
 
Saint George

Saint George's icon

Saint George is a martyr of the Christian faith. He was a soldier in Roman army under the emperor Diocletian. Born around year 280 in the province of Cappadocia and was given the title of Trtibune at his late 20.
He is one of the most revered saint in the Eastern Orthodox church. The myths of the Saint George and the Dragon is one of the main motives in every Icon painted by the craftsmen of the Church. That’s of course a myth. St. George falls protecting his beliefs, being killed by the Emperor’s praetorians.

 

Anyway. We are not that religious to dive in depth. Actually, this holiday is more in tradition than in religion.

On St. George’s day for a first time in the new year, our grand mothers were making a cheese from sheep milk. It was important not to make the cheese with salt, so the sheep’s milk will not dry. The whole chunk of cheese is covered with cloves of freshly grown herbs. The morning, every home’s front door is decorated with blossomed fruit branch, so the spring’s force and healthiness to be transferred to the home’s inhabitants. On the same day the old women made “magics” with thorn branches to banish the evil from the home like garlic, hawthorn, blackberry or nettle.

The most important thing, almost every family is doing at this holiday is buying big piece of lamb meat. Tradition says, this should be the first male Lamb born in the new year. On his head is put а floral wreath and on his right horn is attached a small lit candle just before the Sacrificial slaughter (sorry, can’t find softer words). Before the sacrifice, the Lamb is fed with fresh grass and herbs. The blood is then splattered to the eastern wall of the house and the rest of it is burried beside the house on clean spot over which is not allowed to be stepped.

Funny, eh?! 😀 Supposed to be Christian holiday, but we Bulgarians are such Pagans and Wiccans.

But don’t worry about us. We are not savages. This holiday is for the family after all. There is big ritual bread baked especially for the evening. Kurban (Курбан) which is a kind of Sacrificial rite soup. Roasted lamb. Often some kind of stew, and of course red wine and sweets for the children.

It is also the holiday of our Army. All the soldiers are allowed to drink … one beer.

Everyone having name connected with St. George is having name day. Apparently, that name is one of the most popular ones in Bulgaria.

  • Georgi (Георги)
  • Gergana (Гергана)
  • Gerry (Гери)
  • Ginka (Гинка)
  • Galya (Галя)
  • Ganka (Ганка)
  • Gancho (Ганчо)
  • … and many others

St. George day in Bulgaria is always on 6-th of May.

 Posted by at 12:11 am